


Warning: Sex on Legs in the Kitchen

by downrightpiano



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: AKA nothing really happens, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flatmates Thorin and Thranduil, Gen, Pre-Thorinduil, because Thorin is in deep deep denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3156779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downrightpiano/pseuds/downrightpiano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin wakes up one night (out of many such nights) to a party in his kitchen. Starring Thranduil as the Party King, the many Elves as The Partygoers, and Thorin as That Guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warning: Sex on Legs in the Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my [tumblr](http://siamesefightingpiano.tumblr.com/post/70743642068/thorin-and-thranduil-modern-au) a long time ago. Reposted here with a slight edit. Based on [this](http://petitpotato.tumblr.com/post/62852109064/yesterday-ive-been-listening-to-that-part-in-the).

Thorin growls into his pillow through another round of raucous laughter. So much for Elves and their enlightenment. A smattering of cheering and glasses clinking has him throwing off his bed covers. Being woken up in the middle of the night frustrates Thorin, because his stomach likes to complain and he always feels groggy the day after. He stomps into the kitchen where the party is being held. Where it’s always held. Thorin isn’t sure why Thranduil always holds his parties in the kitchen, not that he cares.

He takes a deep breath to shout all the Elves out of his kitchen and flat, because he’s learned that’s what it takes, when he promptly chokes on his inhalation. The reason is this: Thranduil leaning on their refrigerator with a sleeveless dress thrown over his tree hugger clothes, with a dip designed to show cleavage (except Thranduil does not have cleavage) and cut so that one thigh is bared (except Thranduil is wearing pants). Gloin would say it is the stuff of nightmares.

Thranduil, clearly drunk but somehow still looking sober, looks down at Thorin imperiously. “If it isn’t my illustrious flatmate. What brings you to grace us with your great stature, O Thorin Oakenshield?” The Elves around them laugh uproariously and Thorin feels the throbbing beginnings of a headache.

He growls and marches over to yank open the refrigerator door, noting with satisfaction as Thranduil wobbles (and is that a pout and he does not worry about how Thranduil seems to be overly attached to wine and parties).

All that leaves Thorin’s mind as he stares inside the caverns of his refrigerator. “What happened to the food?” He tries to calm down, but really, he was never that good with staying calm.

"Why, Master Dwarf, it is in our stomachs!" An overindulged Elf cries out before toppling into his friend, chortling.

A slender finger prods Thorin in the shoulder. “Are those the limited edition Smaug pajamas I gave you last year and you supposedly burned, Thorin Oakenshield?”

Thorin looks up to see Thranduil observing him over the rims of his sunglasses (who wears sunglasses indoor in the dead of night anyway). He sputters and slams the refrigerator door shut, nearly catching Thranduil’s nose. “That’s it! All of you, out! Out! Get out of here before I throw you out myself!”

As the Elves stagger out the door on unsteady legs, Thranduil raises a majestic eyebrow at Thorin (to be jealous of an Elf’s eyebrows is ridiculous and unheard of). “You know, Thorin, if you wanted to spend more time with me, all you had to do is ask.” He flicks a strand of hair over his shoulder. “No need for all this posturing.”

Thorin gapes, lost for words, and Thranduil gives him a smug twitch of the lips.

He finally finds his words when Thranduil is at the door to his own bedroom and roars, “I don't wish to spend time with you!”

Thorin slaps a palm to his face and pretends the sound coming from his flatmate’s room isn’t laughter.


End file.
